Ask Harry,
at
Bootleggers Music Bar
Kendal
Ask Harry
PLEASE NOTE - AS WISE AS HE IS, ONE QUESTION HARRY CANNOT ANSWER IS HOW TO GET A BOOKING!! PLEASE REFER TO HOME PAGE
We often get asked many a puzzling question at Bootleggers....
i.e. 'What will the weather be like on Saturday?',
'Will my boyfriend behave like a drunkard on Friday night?', 'What are this weeks winning lottery
numbers?', More often than not, we don't have a cat in hells chance of getting the
question right.
However we do have our very own oracle at Bootleggers... Mr Harry Wells!!
If you have something you'd like Harry to answer for you please post your question below.
Unfortunately we have had so much spam that the only way to ask Harry anything, is to email the bar. Sorry. Email Harry
Ask Harry
PAST QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
| NAME | DATE | Q & A |
|---|---|---|
| Steph | 04/12/07 | Q - Harry are state warning gonna be playing again at bootleggers anytime
soon? A - They've yet to get back in touch, so we don't yet know. Watch this space........ |
| Chet | 14/06/07 | Q - Harry i like beer, have you ever had moosedrool? A - Yes. On my kippers in the morning. |
| Triggerhead | 11/06/07 | Q - WHY MUST YOU BE SO MEEEEEEEAN?
we were supposed to be supporting the Ultras on the 21st of June, but we cannot now because of our age, is this a legal reason or do you think were just a ,,bunch of dumn kids,, our age should not be important, we play better than atleast half the bands that are double our age in the ,,band scene,, as it is so called of today. also why dont you let us type inverted commas so we had to use ,, ! A - Are you emo by any chance? As no one has called the bar to ask how old people need to be to play, I'm a little confused as to where all of this has come from, but, since you brought it up; yes, there is an age limit; yes, there are legal reason for this. Calm yourself. |
| Stag Monkey | 08/06/07 | Q - What can a bunch of blokes on a stag weekend do in kendal on the
weekend of the 21st July? We want to drink the best local beer, taste the best
local food, hear good quality music. Can kendal cope with such demands? A - Dear Stag Monkey, Yep, Kendal can handle it. Not sure what you're after but as far as music goes, you'll not get better than here. On the friday night we've got the Reggie Mental Band, who play, obviously, reggie. On the Sunday, rock band Skinny Lizard start at 5pm. We don't do food, beer only in Bootleggers, so you'll have to head somewhere else for that. |
| ?? | 24/04/07 | Q - Anybody playing Sat 2nd June? A - Only the DJ |
| Greg | 08/04/07 | Q - Who do we need to speak to to get a gig at Bootleggers? We are The
Armadillos and we play Texas Swing goodtime music. www.thearmadillos.co.uk A - For the last time, look at the bloody home page!!!! |
| Howie | 06/04/07 | Q - If we come in tomorrow night will you pay for my beer?
A - I don't pay for my own beer, I'm certainly not paying for yours! |
| Karen | 02/03/07 | Q - Are you any relation to "ask Elvis"? A - Third cousin twice removed |
| Biggles | 23/02/07 | Q - Harry how many times does earth revolve around gakactic central point
a year and what does that have to do with the mini climate that is your beer
gut A - Do you mean Galactic? If so, I don't know what it has to do with my mini-climactic beer gut, except that global warming is having a strange effect on the yeast in my beer baby |
| Rob | 05/02/07 | Q - Do I have to buy tickets for the gig? A - Errrr, which gig? |
| Pope Gregory The Ninth | 01/09/06 | Q - Harry, why? Why are we here? Have you ever considered the meaning of
life? Is there life beyond a pint glass? And, if so, has it got a head on it? A - Who are you? and why do you call yourself Pope Gregory The Ninth? And shouldn't it be Pope Gregory IX? |
| Watters | 03/08/06 | Q - Harry, you into home brew mate. I've tried it at home but it tastes
like sh*t. Have any secrets mate. I was goin for a Guinness taste just cant
get it mate lend us a hand A - If I was able (or bothered) to make a home brew, why would I always be in Bootleggers? Plus, nothing beats their trophy, best in town. |
| Ian from Riff Raff | 03/08/06 | Q - Harry, aren't we supposed to ask the questions??? Me burd !! ok my
girlfriend......stayed at Martindales Guest House nr bridge. b4 9am for
brekkie though !!! A - Touché! Glad you found somewhere. |
| Ian from Riff Raff | 25/07/06 | Q - Harry is there any B&B that have vacancies for Sat 29th as me n burd
have a weekend off this week. Cheers A - Union tavern or Sawyers arms are always a good bet. Here, hold on a second, can bootleggers charge for the plug......? What's a burd? |
| Grumpy Old Woman | 18/07/06 | Q - Why oh why is grammar, spelling and syntax disappearing beneath a
parasitic epidemic of text speak? I blame the disenchantment of youth and
general malaise and insouciance of society upon the proliferation of texting.
There, I feel better now. A - Claire Macfarlane, is that you? |
| Leroy Dexter | 06/07/06 | Q - Harry have you got any drugs brother coz you had a big bag from boots
chemist the other day. i must say that you looked sexy with your shirt open
flashing your man boobs the other day. i think it must have been quiet that
day for some reason. how do you keep yourself in shape man with your busy life
it must be so hard man. peace brother. A - Man boobs?? F**k off!!! Man. |
| Pope Gregory The Ninth | 01/07/06 | Q - Harry, do you know what I can't understand? Chinese writing. How about
you? A - That's because it's in Chinese. Do you speak Chinese? No? Well then. |
| The Bridge Boys | 14/06/06 | Q - heres to harry hes true blue! hes a piss pot through and through! HEs
a bastard so they say! he tried to go to heaven but he went the other way he
went DOWN DOWN DOWN................... what do we think of harry? hes alrite,
a bit flat chested {not really} but hes alrite. luv ya haz A - ? er, its an ode to Harry, kind of |
| DOGTOWN/Z BOYS...TOOHEYS NAZI | 14/06/06 | Q - Harry just wondering when the last time you had a
root.........................beer, because I like root beer myself and you
also seem to enjoy a few cold ones A - ? I do hope you are not referring to illegal substances. I like all beer; ginger, mead or otherwise. No wait, is mead legal? |
| Robert Meluth | 14/06/06 | Q - HAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ how are ya you old shagger hows things down at
bootleggers, wats an old shagger got to do to get a gig down there at
bootleggers A - FOR THE LAST TIME - READ THE F*****G HOME PAGE!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Spider | 31/05/09 | Q - How come Ian from the westmorland shopping centre doesn't do alot of
DJing alot at BOOTLEGGERS, It's always a good night had by all. GET HIM ON
MORE OFTEN. A - Hello Ian. How're you doing? |
| Pope Gregory The Ninth | 04/04/06 | Q -Harry, is there such a thing as Brewer's Droop? A - Who've you been talking to?? I'll sue. |
| Sweaty Betty | 29/03/06 | Q - Why is it always so bleedin hot in there on a sunday? A - It's all you hot hot groovers, getting down to the bands. Or could it be that the entire bar holds 250 people and for some reason all 250 of you choose to stand in the new end? Spread out people, get some air under those pits! |
| Dave | 16/03/06 | Q - Harry if i keep a fixed mass of gas at a constant temperature does it
remain inversely proportional to the volume? A - No. |
| Dave | 28/02/06 | Q - Harry what will we all do next year when the government introduce no
smoking in public places? Can we all come to yours for a smoke again? A - Actually, I'm giving up smoking at New Year, so will not be having to giving up my corner in Bootleggers. |
| Tony Kortus | 15/02/06 | Q - i want to know are booleggers people to? A - Hello Tony. Sorry I don't know what booleggers are. Are they tall boos? |
| Jonty | 07/02/06 | Q - When the Moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with
Mars...... what is all this shit about ? You were there in the 60's, can you explain. I was going to ask you in person, but by the time I get to Booties you're always FUBAR Love Jonty A - You were there in the 60s too, so what are you asking me for? |
| Dave | 29/01/06 | Q - Harry what's your view on 24 hour drinking? Does cannabis affect your,
erm memory? A - I think its a fantastic idea, of course I already drink 24 hours a day, just not in a pub. And who's Harry? What's a memory? |
| Janvis | 25/01606 | Q - Harry why do fools fall in love? A - Aghh, an age old question. Where would we be without fools and where would we be without love? The two go together hand in glove. I love you xx |
| Keith & Ronnie | 20/01/06 | Q - Harry why where twenty thousand grandmas waving their banners in the
air and the queen was shouting what the hell is going on must of been out of
it to write that. Me i am just trying to do my jigsaw puzzle on the floor
before it rains anymore A - Geoff are you stoned again? |
| Oonagh | 26/11/05 | Q - Where's mi budgie? A - Where did you leave it? |
| Pope Gregory The Ninth | 18/11/05 | Q - What's your favourite joke? A - What's orange and sounds like a parrot?......A carrot |
| Scar Face | 26/10/05 | Q - I'm in such a quandary. I can't decide whether white chocolate or dark
chocolate is best in a soufflé? Please help. A - The only cakes I make are "funny" cakes. Can't help with the soufflé. |
| Laura | 19/10/05 | Q - Harry how do i get a gig ? A - Read the home page of this website...... |
| Pope Gregory the Ninth | 11/10/05 | Q - Harry How come there's been no 'Ask Harry' since March? A - I've been in hibernation since March |
| ED & P | 10/08/05 | Q - Harry, why can u not eat crisps in bootleggers unless u bring ur own? A - Because we don't sell them dufus |
| David | 01/08/05 | Q - Where can I get good quality carpets at rock bottom prices A - Goodacres, no wait, they might be closing down |
| Jeff Bond | 17/07/05 | Q - Are you single, i think we could get it on. A - ?? |
| Lisa Frascarelli | 23/06/05 | Q - Harry, do you have a girlfriend? If not, would you like a girlfriend? A - Yes, see me at the bar. You can never have too many girlfriends |
| Pegasi | 01/06/05 | Q - Harry you seem like a fine gent, so how do YOU wine and dine the ladies??? and how many ladies have you had??? A - No comment, kind of personal |
| 23/05/05 | Q - What's the meaning of beer? and do they smoke cigarettes in
heaven????? we need to know?! A - No you silly boy, they go to heaven because of smoking. The meaning of beer? Well, something so pure and beautiful does not need a meaning | |
| Jonnie | 19/05/05 | Q - Harry, i've often seen you about the streets early, have you just left the pub or are you just on your way there ?? either way im jealous.!!!!!!! A - Actually, i'm just LEAVING the pub (burp..) |
| Kermit the Frog | 09/03/05 | Q - Harry are we related?? And do you think If
I bought a helmet like Kennys, It would clash with my green complexion?? A - No, and no |
| Barney Rubble | 08/03/05 | Q - Harry I'm thinking of teaching Dino
Sky-Diving, do you think Dino would have trouble pulling the rip-cord due to his lack of manual dexterity in his front paws. Also should I give him a Helmet Just like Kennys in case he bumps his head on the floor if his canopy fails?? A - Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but dinosaurs haven't been around for some time... however if you do find one that agrees to go skydiving, contact Richard and Judy and you'll make your fortune!! |
| Miffy Fluffbunny | 11/02/05 | Q - Harry, i'm hosting a dinner party for my future in
laws next week and I want to know the best way to cook sprouts? Any tips on
how to impress the future Mum & Dad?
A - Boil the f**kers! Top and tail them first. And don't draw faces on them. |
| fishfinger | 23/12/04 | Q - Harry what o' what is dogging, and does it hurt the dog?.
A - in my experience, the dog doesn't suffer. actually, he seems to enjoy it. The onlookers don't fair so well though! |
| Pope Gregory the Ninth | 22/12/04 | Q - Other than increased alcohol consumption (if that's
possible), what are the best things about Christmas?
A - the best things about Christmas are (in no particular order) free beer from happy drunk people, laughing at happy drunk people, not having to give up my chair in bootleggers. The worst thing about Christmas is having to find somewhere else to drink, as Bootleggers is closed! |
| Misc | 22/12/04 | Q - Harry, What the fuck's going down baby ?
A - peace, brother. |
| Pope Gregory the Ninth | 19/12/04 | Q - Have you ever played cricket in the West Indies for
the England cricket team?
A - only once....long, hot summer......iced tea.....the smoking of the pipe..... how did you know? where you there? show yourself, man! |
| Bobby Goggler | 17/12/04 | Q - where is the mound of venus?
A - find the navel base and head south. |
| marine biology freak meerkat | 17/12/04 | Q - are you allergic to shellfish
A - No, I love shellfish, although the shell itself does take a bit of work to get down. |
| DAVID THE SURVEYOR | 16/12/04 | Q - what happened to your pint of lager
A - it's in my back pocket!! and i'll show it to anyone who wants to see it! |
| Brown sugar | 10/12/04 | Q - Harry how long can a camel go without a drink?
A - Three days.....but I f**king can't! |
| Alvin | 9/12/04 | Q - Harry; During these winter months I have increasing trouble with the condition of my hair.
I was wondering which products you use on yours, and whether you have any tips on how I can
replicate its body and shine.
A - Hello Alvin. Yes, the winter months can cause terrible trouble on the old
locks! I tend to find a mix of fish oils, hemp and hops keep mine in tip
top condition. You'll notice mine has a fine sheen to it; it takes a
minimum of three pints of trophy a day to achieve. You have to be willing
to put the time in too, no missing a day or you just won't get the same
results.
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